I’m going to get arrested.

Paranoia understandably often accompanies cognitive impairment. And because Daddy already has an obsessive compulsive personality, his anxiety further heightens the symptoms of his condition.

Several weeks ago Mother and Daddy stopped by Kroger on the way back from Rome, where many of Daddy’s doctor appointments take place. The cashier set their package of toilet paper in the middle of the spinning bag holder, and in a rush they grabbed all the bags but left the toilet paper.

After driving home to the outskirts of Gordon County, Mother realized the trunk was devoid of Quilted Northern. With a sigh, she made the 9-mile trek back to Kroger and sent Daddy inside to grab the toilet paper. He apparently notified a staff member who told him it was fine to take another pack of toilet paper off the shelf and leave.

“Can we go back to Kroger? I left without saying anything,” Daddy worried in the car.

“But didn’t one of the little guys working there tell you it was fine?” Mother asked.

“Yeah, but someone else probably saw me leave without paying for the toilet paper.”

“They know you in there. And the guy said it was fine.”

“I know, but someone else mighta saw me, and it mighta looked like I didn’t pay. They probably got me on the surveillance camera. Let’s go back and make sure.”

“No! We are NOT going back to Kroger.”

“I’m going to get arrested. There’s video footage.”

Daddy obsessed over getting arrested for the rest of the night.

Life resumed to its now-normal state the next day. In this case, I hope Daddy forgot about going to Kroger.